Giving Thanks

23 Nov

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, with only a slight edge given to the 4th of July. I LOVE the food. I love seeing my family. But mostly, I love the idea of being thankful. Of course, we should be thankful each and every day of our lives, but Thanksgiving provides a unique opportunity to give voice to that which may get overlooked on otherwise ordinary days.

I, for one, know I am guilty of this. I tend to get caught up in what I don’t have, what everyone else has, and how unfortunate this is for me. I’m a moper through and through and am constantly wondering ‘what if?’ What if I had more? What if I made better use of my time? What if I could simply find new perspective about my plight in this life?

Now before I totally convince you that I am a terribly selfish person, I must add that I am well aware that my “problems” are first world problems. I have a college education, healthy food in my fridge, a beautiful roof over my head, health insurance, and money in the bank. My basic needs (and then some) are always met. For this I am beyond grateful and know better than to take it for granted.

The point is that I love Thanksgiving because it provides me with the chance to adjust my outlook on life. To realize (once again) that I am blessed to live this life, my life.

So, without further ado, my Top 10 List of Thing I am Thankful For:

1o. Ryan Gosling

I can assure that this list will get less superficial as it goes on, but I simply couldn’t leave Mr. Gosling off. I am just so very thankful that he exists so that I can look at him and his beautiful abs face.

9. Bubble Baths and Wine

Those are neither my legs nor my bathtub…but nonetheless I find myself thankful for my own bathtub, my own wine, and my own legs. When I have had a particularly bad day one of the first things I do is run myself a bubble bath. And on days when I am taking a pregnancy test, I am especially grateful for these things because I usually run a bath, light some candles, and pour myself a glass of wine while I wait for the negative test results. The alcohol warm water and tranquil atmosphere helps melt away the stress. Also, the running water drowns out the sounds of my tears. (Wow, that came out a lot more depressing that I meant it to.)

8. My Therapist

Unfortunately, (or fortunately?) I do not have a picture of her. And maybe it isn’t so much her that I am thankful as much as it is the process of therapy itself. I have struggled with an anxiety disorder (and sometimes depression) on and off for the better part of 8 years. Therapy provides an outlet for these feelings and gives me the encouragement to keep fighting. But most importantly, it is helping me to realize that me and my life are worth fighting for.

7. My Home

Strangely enough, I also don’t have a picture of my house. Regardless, I love my home. Tim and I have lived here for a little over a year and every day I grow to love it more and more especially as we inject bits of our personalities into it. Mostly though I am grateful just to have a roof over my head. A roof that not only provides me with shelter and a warm place to lay my head, but also gives me a space to fill with love and treasured memories.

6. The Babies In My Life

And an honorable mention goes to Grant and Henry, but I do not have any pictures of them. The girls above are my nieces, and Wyatt is my one of my BFF’s son. Sometimes, it is extremely difficult to be around my friends who have babies. There is sometimes sadness, bitterness, and jealousy. But most of the time there isn’t any of that, only profound joy and love for them and their beautiful children. The love that I have for these babies astounds me from time to time. When I realize how much I love someone who isn’t even mine, I understand that my mind can’t even begin to grasp the love that I will feel towards my own children. It’s a wonderful reminder as to why I keep trying month after month.

5. My Best Girlfriends.

There is no shortage of girlfriends in my life, but these particular ladies are the best of the best. Each one of them enriches my life in their own way and together they give me everything I have ever wanted or needed from a friend. From our monthly ladies nights to celebrating important milestones, I know that I can count on them to be there through the good and the bad.

4. My Family

I know I am biased, but I am pretty sure that I have the best family on the face of this planet. From my grandparents, to my parents, to my aunts, to my cousins, each of them has helped to shape the woman who I am. They have instilled in me upstanding morals and values and showered me with unconditional love. I couldn’t be more proud to call them my family. Especially my momma. She’s my favorite, but like I said, I am probably biased.

3. My Brothers

Believe it or not, these are my little brothers. They really aren’t so little anymore. I am so thankful for both of them for sharing my childhood with me. Both of them are in the Army so I don’t get to see them very often. One is in Korea and the other is about to be stationed across the country in Nevada. The distance between us makes me sad sometimes, but I know they are on their own paths now. I am beyond thankful for their service to our country, but mostly I’m just so unbelievably grateful to call them my brothers.

2. My Husband

He is kind. Handsome. Creative. Smart. Funny. Messy. Introspective. He has a great singing voice. Beautiful blue eyes. And dimples that make me melt. He is inquisitive and curious. And is constantly seeking new information. He can be cocky and selfish, but he delivers an apology like no one else. We fight. We make-up. We reminisce about the past. And dream about the future. He knows that I am stubborn, but that I always mean well. He knows that I have a hard time seeing beyond this very moment in time, but he compensates by being an eternal dreamer. His head is usually in the clouds and he is constantly tapping on everything. He makes mean english muffin pizzas and has the best intentions. Especially when it comes to making artwork for our house. He is my husband. I chose him 3 years ago and I continue to choose him every day. He does the same for me and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

1. My Health

Without my good health and good fortune, none of this would be possible. I wake up and go to sleep every night thankful that I have lived another day. I take comfort in knowing that all is well in this body of mine. Sure, I have yet to get pregnant and some might argue that it’s a failure on my body’s part. But I know that’s not the case. Like my doctor said, every woman can get pregnant unless proven otherwise and there isn’t even a little bit of proof that it won’t work out for me. As far as we know everything is functioning as it should be, we just haven’t gotten the timing right. Time….notice how that is not on this list?


One Response to “Giving Thanks”

  1. TheStorkWhisperer November 26, 2011 at 3:36 pm #

    I, too, am thankful for Ryan Gosling.

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