Onwards and Upwards

12 Dec

Our annual Christmas Party went exceptionally well as evidenced by the above picture. I promise we weren’t that drunk, I just thought it was funny because we all have our eyes closed and appear to be extremely intoxicated. These are two of my best girlfriends and they certainly helped me get along well in a sea of pregnant women/new moms.

There were quite a few moments at the party where I found myself in uncomfortable situations. One girl who is about 7 months pregnant and has absolutely no self-awareness as to when she is blabbering on about herself, cornered me but I simply walked away. Another group of women were scheduling play dates, and again, I just walked away. Another guy friend came to me with this “great idea” that since I love babies and am not currently working then I should watch everyone’s baby while they work all day. And he said this in front of all the pregnant women/new moms. I laughed, said no thanks, and walked away. Walking away served me very well that evening and helped keep me out of some uncomfortably emotional moments. I didn’t even let myself feel guilty or rude about it. That sentiment clearly doesn’t go both ways, so I decided to go easy on myself and not worry about offending anyone. I did what I needed to do for me, for once.  Until….

One of my husband’s best guy friends got me. I was in the kitchen prepping some food and he came in to talk to me. I can’t remember how the conversation started, but he was asking me about not getting pregnant and how it felt to be around all of my friends who are/were. I basically told him that it sucks, but that the worst part of it all is that none of them even ask me about it. He couldn’t believe it because he asks my husband about it pretty much every time they talk. I told him that I couldn’t believe it either, but that I couldn’t talk about it at that moment or I would start crying. I was honest and he understood, so he dropped and we went about the party.

So, all in all the party was very successful. Everyone showed up on time, enjoyed the food and libations, and seemed to have a great time. All my hard work paid off and I managed to enjoy myself too.

On another note…it’s that time of the month again. My fertile window has arrived, I think. After taking last month off, I decided to start taking my BBT again. I believe that I will O on Friday, so the BD marathon begins tonight. Also, (and please don’t think I am crazy) but I purchased enough OPK to test every day of the month because my BBT chart confuses me. Some months it looks like I O in day 14, other months it looks like day 8 or day 19. Some months it even looks like I O twice and some months not at all. I’m not sure if this is accurate or due to user error, so I will be peeing on an OPK each and every day just to get a good idea as to when I actually O this month. So far (on CD 12) I have yet to get a positive result, so we shall see.

I sincerely hope that this is our month. Of course I hope that every month….

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5 Responses to “Onwards and Upwards”

  1. amy December 12, 2011 at 9:09 pm #

    Jenn-

    I’m sorry some of the women didn’t engage you in conversation, to offer support or just be an ear. I would think that *maybe* they might feel awkward and don’t know how to approach you about it…or they truly just are so caught up in their own pregnancy that they just don’t care. Either scenerio is hard to swallow. There are times when I get frustrated b/c I think I’ve built a wall and that’s why people don’t talk to me about IF, so therefore I think they’ve just forgotten about my struggle. And the preggo girls are driving me crazy right now…soo happy for most of them, but I’ve been hearing things lately like “I’ll be so mad if I have a boy, I have 2 girls and I want a boy”…WTH?? I heard that TWICE this week, no lie, I can’t make that up. I think to myself…would I be THAT girl if I had absolutely no problems TTC. The thought might cross my mind, but probably not hit my lips…people never cease to amaze me. It’s so hard too, b/c we are at an age where everyone is having babies. I’m glad you at least survived the party, and your husband’s friend=SWEEEET!!

    I think it’s a great idea to do the tests everyday, that will help you gauge your O time. Chart all that good stuff. Now, just hoping and praying this is your month 🙂 Hope everything else is going good too!

  2. Theresa December 12, 2011 at 8:06 pm #

    I would be happy to look at your bbt charts if you feel confused. No pressure though! Good luck this month!!!

    • Jenn December 13, 2011 at 11:17 am #

      I would really appreciate that actually! I’m going to finish this month out and see what happens and then I’ll contact you to send them to you. Thanks so much!!

  3. K.Smitty December 12, 2011 at 4:38 pm #

    Good for you that you could manage all the social pressures! And how amazing that someone asked you about it and was so respectful! I said “wow” out loud twice while reading that…lol. And I have to say it again. Wow. What a nice friend.

    Good luck this cycle!

    • Jenn December 12, 2011 at 5:30 pm #

      Yeah, it was nice the he was so respectful and yet caring. It really meant a lot to me.

      Thanks lady! Fingers crossed 🙂

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