Call Me Crazy, But….

9 Jan

When I first read about the hullabaloo surrounding the birth of Beyonce and Jay-Z’s daughter, Blue Ivy, I assumed that they were out of their  god-forsaken, ego-driven minds. And, actually, I’m still pretty sure that they are.

But….

Then I heard this: Glory. The song that Jay-Z wrote for/to his newborn daughter. Go ahead, take a minute and listen to it.

And I lost it.

I was all prepared to write a post tonight about our appointment with the RE. I was prepared to write about hope and possibility and all that nonsense stuff until I listened to that song.

I broke down into tears about halfway through. I don’t know where they came from, all I know is that I felt them welling from the moment I heard the title of the song. As fate would have it, my husband walked into the room just as the first sob formed in my throat. Next thing I knew I was laughing through the tears as just how ridiculous this probably looked to him. Talk about a mood swing. Obviously, it hit a nerve.

Now, I am not much of a rap fan. Nor am I much of a fan of Jay-Z or Beyonce. But I do love babies. And I do love how I imagine that feeling of meeting your child for the first time. Maybe it’s because my husband is a musician himself and I couldn’t help but imagine that he was the one writing this song. That he finally had a “daddy’s girl.” But this song has me second guessing the plan that my husband and I decided on today. (More on that once I get around to writing about our appointment with the RE).

How do I stop emotion from triumphing over logic? I wish Jay-Z would write me a song about that. (I got 99 Problems, But Fertility Ain’t One?)

So I listened to this song. I had a good cry, followed by a good laugh. Then I listened to it again. Instead of crying this time, I poured myself a glass of wine. It was the closest thing I had to a consolation prize.

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2 Responses to “Call Me Crazy, But….”

  1. K.Smitty January 10, 2012 at 5:13 pm #

    I think I had almost the exact same reaction you did. I’d be pissed if I couldn’t see my newborn because of a celebrity and I think that article makes a lot of good points about how ridiculous it is that we can’t let them just be regular people and have a baby the normal way without shutting down a whole floor of a hospital.

    But then, that song sure does make you think. It was so incredibly sweet. And I really am happy for them, but maybe they should try a home birth on the next one so the world can, you know…keep spinning and all that jazz. (LOL)

  2. KatyBug January 10, 2012 at 9:41 am #

    I cried too, especially when I heard the baby at the end of the song.

    Can’t wait to hear about your RE appointment!

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