A Whole Other Kind of 2WW

17 Jan

Sometimes it feels like I’m just never satisfied. Like I can always find something to complain about. There is nothing different about that tonight.

  • I’m at 4dpo. The only difference for me this month is that we deliberately tried not to get pregnant. See my previous post if you’d like an explanation. This month I am anxiously awaiting my period so that I can make my appointment for the HSG test. One thing that hasn’t changed is that this 2ww feels like it is taking FOREVER to pass.
  • I finally saw my doctor yesterday and he wrote me a prescription for Zoloft to help with the depression and anxiety. Now my husband and I are trying to weigh the benefits with the risks in order to determine if I should take the medication with the intention to stay on it if I get pregnant. We did some of our own research and everything is so inconclusive. I have absolutely no idea where I stand on this issue. On one hand, I am depressed and anxious all the time. The medication could really help to make positive changes both in my life and in my self-confidence. On the other hand, if something happened to my baby because I was on Zoloft I just don’t know if I could ever forgive myself. How do I make that decision? I don’t even know where to start. Does anyone have an experience with this? I will take any and all advice that I can get. Just please be kind. Please?
  • I haven’t been able to get a certain girl out of my head. I knew her in high school, but probably haven’t seen her in about 10 years. Through the grapevine I had heard that her and her husband were having trouble TTC. I don’t know any of the details, just that they had been trying for about 3 years. A couple of months ago she announced on Facebook that she was pregnant with a healthy baby boy. Unfortunately, she just lost that baby boy at about 5 or 6 months along. My heart just breaks for her. I can’t even imagine the pain of a loss like that. I firmly believe that there is no hierarchy in the realm of infertility. No loss or lack of conception is anymore devastating the next. Each and every experience is so personal that it would be impossible to even begin to compare. Yet, lately I find myselfquestioning if it truly is “better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?”
  • I finally reached out to a friend of friend who I also know is having trouble TTC. Her and her husband have been trying for 4 years and she is just now starting to get some answers. We exchanged a few emails back and forth and it has definitely been cathartic for me. I hope that it has done the same for her.
  • Of course at the very moment that I am typing this a commercial came on the TV that said, “If you took Celexa, Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft, or Prozac while you were pregnant and your child was born with birth defects please call [insert law office’s name here]. Is that supposed to be some kind of a sign? I hate those commercials.
  • Sorry everyone that I don’t have much in the content department tonight. This whole to-medicate-or-not-to-medicate thing is taking up a whole lot of brain space. It’s weighing me down even further than I already was. So, that’s all I’ve got tonight.

Goodnight. xoxo



5 Responses to “A Whole Other Kind of 2WW”

  1. jell jell @ I'll Sleep When They're Grown January 19, 2012 at 12:46 am #

    The egg wouldn’t have a chance to implant and absorb any harmful thing you might’ve ingested. If you really need to take the Zoloft, then take it. And if you find out you are pregs, stop taking it. I had a bad hangover and took Advil and Pepto the week before I found out I was pregnant the first time. (Neither are good). But it’s not horrible. The one thing you can’t do (from what I understand) is take Acutane. If you’re really unsure, I would call a midwife or OBGYN and get their perspective on it. My un-professional opinion is to take the meds for your sanity. Good luck, dear!

  2. TheStorkWhisperer January 18, 2012 at 5:20 pm #

    I wouldn’t take those commercials too seriously. They are warning you about a different drug every week with an-ever-so convenient number to call if something bad has happened. I think those commercials are nothing more than scams.

    The research about antidepressants and birth defects is inconclusive like you said. Some people taking those drugs may have given birth to a child with birth defects, but it could have been caused by a dozen or more things other than medication.

    I’ve taken the drugs for years now and probably won’t stop unless my doctor advises me to or if (gasp) it is somehow responsible for my lack of conception. Truth be told, I probably need to increase my dose and have needed to for some time.

    You can always start a small dosage, if you choose to go that route.

  3. K.Smitty January 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm #

    I almost had to walk down this path too and here’s what my doctor told me: All that scary stuff you see on TV about birth defects all happens in the third trimester when the bulk of the lung development takes place. Not to say that you don’t have to worry at all until then, but I was under the impression that if you stopped taking it by the third trimester, your risks decreased significantly. I’m no doctor, though, that’s just what I was told.

    I opted out of taking meds because I was considering them more for stress-induced IBS that was tearing up my insides (and actually still is!) but mostly because I’ve been on Zoloft before and wasn’t crazy about how it made me feel. I actually didn’t feel better until after I was off of it, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask on whether you should or shouldn’t. So instead I’ll just say this and hope it doesn’t confuse you even more. My doc could sense my concern and told me I could stop taking it cold turkey as soon as I got a BFP if I wanted. Maybe you could consider that option? Even if you only take it for a month or so, it may be enough to take the edge off, and that may be the edge you need to be able to “just relax and let it happen?” (said with joking love of course!)

    I second Amy’s comment though…of all of them, Zoloft may be the safest bet compared to other drugs. Good luck girl and I hope you feel better soon!

  4. Theresa January 18, 2012 at 12:51 pm #

    I’ve considered meds myself and have had a similar mental battle. I haven’t yet gone down that path, but try to keep in mind what I’ve heard (I have no idea where): you need to take care of yourself first. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you probably won’t able to as effectively take care of someone else. If your depression and anxiety is causing you a lot of pain, it might be worth the risk.
    That said, as mentioned above, I haven’t done it either so I’m not sure how helpful that was.

  5. amy January 18, 2012 at 10:32 am #

    Ohhh that dang 2WW, either way it’s LONG! So, I’m totally in the same boat with you about the Zoloft. I would love to take it, that would be my choice, but it’s the concern over possible birth defects…scares the crap outta me. I’ve seen those awful commercials too and it makes me even more nervous, however, I don’t *think* I’ve seen one about Zoloft…they are Paxil, Prozac and Lexapro I think. But, at the end of the day, they are all about the same. I’ve gone on boards before where women are asking questions about taking Zoloft while pregnant, and have seen a plethora of women that have taken it from beginning to end with no problems at all. But, you just never know…I do know it’s safer to take it in the third trimester as opposed to the first and second.

    Such a hard decision 😦 I’m looking forward to seeing what others have to say about this…thanks for sharing and asking questions! Keep us posted 😉

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