It Feels Like Starting Over

24 Feb

I got my period today. Right on time, per usual.

I’m a little bummed out, but not as much as I usually am at this time of the month. Typically I spend cycle day 1 weeping in a bubble bath with a glass of wine by my side. Today I definitely teared up and took a bubble bath with a my trusty glass of wine within arm’s reach, but it didn’t feel like the end of the world. A big part of me was hoping I would get pregnant this cycle as it marks the last one where we will be trying “naturally.” However, I was pretty sure that wasn’t going to happen so my hopes weren’t nearly as high as they have been in the past.

How did we get here?

I find myself asking myself this question all the time. I just never, ever saw it coming. I just assumed that when I wanted to have a baby I would be able to. It never even crossed my mind that I would experience infertility. And yet, here I am. I suppose life just has a way of sneaking up on a person.

Well, it has certainly snuck up on me. Tomorrow I start Clomid. 50 mg. I have never wanted something to work as much as I want this to work. As much as I need this work.

I will take Clomid on cd 2-6. Then I have to go in for a sonogram on cd 10. Then we have lots and lots of baby-making love. Then we wait. And we hope with every fiber of our beings that it works. That we get pregnant.

That being said, I have a favor to ask of all of you….please keep up in your thoughts. Cross your fingers. Cross your toes. And if you pray, please do that too. We need all the help we can get.

Thank you. Each and everyone of you means the world to me….

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18 Responses to “It Feels Like Starting Over”

  1. Lyndell February 28, 2012 at 6:36 pm #

    fingers and toes crossed – positive vibes beamed your way!

    • Jenn March 1, 2012 at 6:43 pm #

      Thanks you!!

  2. K.Smitty February 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm #

    Aw this sucks. Wine always makes me feel better on CD1. Chocolate doesn’t hurt either. Everything crossed for you this month and always! I hope you know you’re a regular on my prayer list!
    xoxo

    • Jenn March 1, 2012 at 6:44 pm #

      0Thanks for the prayers lady!!! I, too, think of you all the time πŸ™‚

      • K.Smitty March 1, 2012 at 7:22 pm #

        xo
        and by the way…I’m having wine on CD 1
        Fingers crossed for March!

        • Jenn March 1, 2012 at 7:25 pm #

          Do it! I fully support that decision! Sorry to hear about you BFN. Everything is crossed for you for March!!

  3. amy February 27, 2012 at 2:37 pm #

    Praying my little heart out πŸ˜‰ You deserve this!!

    • Jenn March 1, 2012 at 6:44 pm #

      Thanks Amy! As always πŸ™‚

  4. veetamia February 26, 2012 at 1:03 am #

    In my thought & prayers!! πŸ™‚ This is not an easy reality to accept and it speaks tons about you that you and your husband are wanting to go down this road. U r never alone. U rock!!

    • Jenn March 1, 2012 at 6:45 pm #

      Thanks so much. I can’t tell you how much that means to me πŸ™‚

  5. jell jell @ I'll Sleep When They're Grown February 26, 2012 at 12:55 am #

    Good luck! Toes firmly crossed.

    • Jenn March 1, 2012 at 6:45 pm #

      Thanks Jell!

  6. TheStorkWhisperer February 25, 2012 at 8:34 pm #

    Prayers sent for you!

    • Jenn March 1, 2012 at 6:45 pm #

      Thanks! Means the world πŸ™‚ Seriously!!

  7. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row February 25, 2012 at 6:38 pm #

    Hang I’n there. Xoxoxo

    • Jenn March 1, 2012 at 6:46 pm #

      Thanks Rachel!!! You do the same πŸ™‚

  8. futuresoccermom February 24, 2012 at 8:13 pm #

    Wishing you all the luck in the world for a successful clomid run! I’m a fellow clomider, I know the feeling that it just has to work!! Good luck!

    • Jenn March 1, 2012 at 6:46 pm #

      Thanks lady!! I hope it works for you too…seriously hoping for our miracles this month!!

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