I Almost Got Fired Today For Being…Pregnant?

22 Mar

True story. But here’s the thing: I don’t even know if I am pregnant or not, so how could my boss?

So, a little background information:

I work in an office with mostly men. There is only one other woman and she is younger than me and single. Certainly not in a baby making state of mind. Almost a month ago when my husband and I were deciding our action plan for this month I had quite a few conversations with my RE over the phone. On one particular day I had to step outside and I let this other woman know that it was because I had to make a phone call to my doctor. Then my doctor called me back later in the day so I had to step out again. The third time the RE called me to give me instructions on how to take the Clomid I took the phone call at my desk because I didn’t want to have to ask to step outside again.

I thought this would be fine because I work in a very small office and at the time myself and this other woman were the only people in the office and she is all the way at the opposite end. Turns out that she must have overheard my conversation using such phrases as “timed intercourse” and “taking a pregnancy test.”

Fast forward to two weeks after that and I came down with the stomach flu and had to call out of work. At the time, I thought nothing of it. I was simply sick and couldn’t make it into work that day. Totally normal, right?

So fast forward again to today. This woman and myself are the only ones in the office, as we often are. I overhear her conversation with the president of our company, or at least her side of it as it was on the telephone. I hear her say “Oh I’m almost positive that she is” and “it’s super obvious at this point.” Being as I’m the only other female in the office I assume she is talking about me. I immediately get super paranoid that I’m about to get fired because they think I am pregnant. Call it a gut instinct.

On my lunch break I call my husband and fill him in on my suspicions. He assures me that I am just being paranoid and eventually I agree with him. I come back from lunch and choose to think nothing of it.

So, about 30 minutes before I am scheduled to leave work for the day my boss calls me into his office for a meeting. In this meeting he basically asks me why I was sick 2 weeks ago. I, again, tell him that I had the stomach flu. He asks me if there is something else going on. Like, is there a medical issue or am I pregnant. He then assures me that it’s okay if I am, but they just want to know if I am going to need more time off in the future. It would be totally okay if I needed that time off for whatever reason, they would just need to know what that reason is. Again he subtly asked me if I am pregnant. He must have asked me that question three times in the course of five minutes.

I pretty much breezed right past his questioning and assured him that it was the stomach flu. Because it was! He also reminded me that I am still in my 90-day probation period which means, although he didn’t say it outright, that they can fire me for any reason. However, in the following breath he assured me that everyone is beyond pleased with my work performance.

I am so confused. I am also pretty sure that if I were to find out that I am pregnant on Sunday that they would fire me.

How the hell did I end up in this predicament? How the eff is any of this even legal? And more importantly, what do I do about it?

I always just assumed that I wouldn’t even tell my employed about my pregnancy until the second trimester. Now  I feel obligated to tell them as soon as I know or else I lose my job if their suspicions increase.  I feel like once I say the words “I’m pregnant” to them then I am somehow immune to being terminated.

But do you want to know what the most effed up part of it all is? Of course you do!

Silly me is taking this as a positive sign? Perhaps they know something that I don’t? technically today is the first day of my missed period, but we all know why I am waiting until Sunday to test……

The whole thing has me in a tizzy. I am offended that they would even ask. After knowing how much I have gone through up until this point while someone else can be so cavalier about it, really rubs me the wrong way. But I am also curious as to what it all means. I just hope it’s not because they noticed the bloat from the progesterone and mistook it for a baby bump.

Tell me, what’s a girl to do?

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11 Responses to “I Almost Got Fired Today For Being…Pregnant?”

  1. operationbaby2012 March 31, 2012 at 8:45 am #

    Wow. Just Wow. In the UK it is unlawful to fire someone if they’re pregnant, regardless of any probabtion period. Not sure about the law where you are though. I would def write up that phone conversation (date and time, who said what) and perhaps even email the woman expressing your surprise over her actions so you’ve got a record of this to (and if you refer to her telling your boss and then your boss calling you in for a meeting this is then evidence of this rather than just your word).

    Recording it in the UK wouldn’t be OK – as you can’t record someone without their permission. Again, not sure about the US though.

    Also, if I was advising you professionally I’d suggest you join a union now now now, as again in the UK they won’t get involved in workplace issues until you’ve been a member for 3 months.

    I’m outraged for you – totally outraged. I’ve discussed planning to have kids at some stage with my boss (that reads wrong – not with my boss!) but that’s because we get on great – if we didn’t I wouldn’t feel obliged to tell him anything at all.

  2. Jenn March 26, 2012 at 9:04 pm #

    Thank you all so much for weighing in! I had a four day weekend this past weekend because I had a wedding to go to out of town. But, tomorrow is back to work. I have decided that I am going to talk to my boss about what happened and tell him how uncomfortable it made me. I want to tell him that I am a woman, I am married, and I plan to start a family at some point. However, I have no intentions of sharing that news until I get into the second trimester. I hope this doesn’t effect my employment…bla bla bla. I’m also considering secretly recording the conversation. Is that too much, haha???? But seriously, thanks so much for backing me up. You all help me so much to feel a little less crazy.

    By the way….this message will self destruct.*

    *Inspector Gadget anyone??? I will be taking this whole post down in a couple of days. You just never know who is reading this corner of the internet…..

  3. A Sweet Life March 24, 2012 at 3:12 pm #

    I would def. question the other woman you work with. It is not right for her to get into your business. And legally they cannot fire you for being pregnant, but can fire you for no reason during that 90 day probation period.

    Speaking of periods…..how are you doing? I think you are to test tomorrow right??? hope this is it for you!!

  4. TheStorkWhisperer March 23, 2012 at 6:05 pm #

    I think your boss’s questioning was extremely inappropriate and unprofessional. I’m not sure you are legally bound to tell him the nature of any medical issues you have and it sounds like he already knows that. I would be sure to document this conversation and any other incidents in case something comes up later. No one can fire you for being pregnant, but there may be some clause that says you can’t miss more than a certain number of days in the first few months, even if they are medically related. Keep your guard up!

  5. babysocks2008 March 23, 2012 at 3:20 pm #

    I think is is illegal for an employer to ask if an employee is pregnant in Ca. I don’t think legally it is acceptable for them to ask you that. In fact, I know pregnancy is a protected status under federal law so you can’t get fired for being pregnant.

  6. robin March 23, 2012 at 11:44 am #

    Soooooooo wrong!

    Anyway if I were in that situation, if you get your BFP this Sunday, I would wait until I was planning to wait to tell them. And if they get all huffy like we asked you 3 months ago, you can say honestly, 3 months ago I wasn’t pregnant, and the stomach flu was completely unrelated.

  7. searching for middle ground March 23, 2012 at 9:15 am #

    Wow, just wow. While a business can fire you in that 90-day period if they are unhappy with your performance, etc. they can’t fire you for possibly being pregnant or if there is a possibility of you wanting to start a family in the future or for thinking about pregnancy. They have no right to question you like that and if there isn’t a company policy in place that all women are to tell their boss the minute after they get a BFP then you can wait as long as you want to tell them (obviously within reason because they do have to be given time to make arrangements in your absence). If I were you I’ve have a discussion with your female co-worker – tell her that it was none of her business to go to your boss and have a discussion with him over what she thought she heard and that if she has any questions or concerns in the future that she should take them up with you directly. I wouldn’t even give her the pleasure of knowing any more about your business than what she thinks she knows. Then, WHEN you do get that BFP, wait until the second trimester – that is your right and your decision. Wow. I can’t believe you are going through this.

  8. K.Smitty March 23, 2012 at 7:51 am #

    Wow….so much to say here!
    It may actually be true that they can fire you for any reason during that 90 day period, but I agree with Em that you don’t even have to tell them until you’re 12+ weeks and by then, you should be out of your 90 day period and then they CAN’T fire you for being pregnant.

    I also agree that you should talk to this girl about getting in your business. How rude!

    On the other hand….you’re late ?? OMG OMG OMG, fingers crossed for a BFP!!

  9. Ess March 23, 2012 at 7:15 am #

    This situation is all kinds of wrong! From the inappropriate gossiping from a staff person to a manager, the barrage of personal questions from your manager, and the mentioning of firing in the same conversation.

    However, from a legal point of view I believe the Canadian perspective on this matter differs from the US one. Generally speaking it would be illegal for them to fire you for planning to be or being pregnant in Canada.

    http://www.babycenter.ca/pregnancy/work/maternityrights/

    Anyway, I agree with futuresupermom’s comments with regards to speaking to the co-worker – if you’re feeling up to it. Can be tough sometimes to call people out….

  10. futuresoccermom March 23, 2012 at 6:51 am #

    I really don’t know what you should do besides look into your rights at that company. Seems to me your boss’ questions are extremely inappropriate. Also, If it were me I would probably go to the other woman and say, look, I think you overheard me on the phone a few weeks ago and I don’t appreciate you getting involved in my business. Then I would tell her no, you are not pregnant (even if you are) and admit that you have been struggling to get pregnant so you have been in talks with your doctor, but that’s it. Maybe the honesty would put her in her place and possibly lay on a guilt trip! I don’t know, just my thoughts!

  11. EmHart March 23, 2012 at 4:17 am #

    I wish I could offer wise words but I know absolutely nothing of the rules at all. I don’t see why you should have to tell a soul till the second tri though.

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