April 30-Day Challenge Day #12 and a Little Symptom Spotting

12 Apr

DAY 12:Β  If you are not yet a parent: What are you MOST looking forward to about parenthood?

This is a really difficult question and one that I have been meaning to write about for some time. My immediate response to this question is that I can’t even begin to think about parenthood until I get pregnant. Right now it’s all about getting pregnant and I seem to forget all about the subsequent 9 months and the 18+ years following that.

There was a time when it’s all I could think about. That feeling of holding my baby in my arms for the very first time. The look on my husband’s face when he/she makes his/her entrance into this world. The idea ofΒ  tiny little finger wrapped tightly around my own. Wavy brown hair and teeny tiny toes. Snuggles in the middle of the night and cheery faces bright and early in the morning. Watching him/her discover the world around him/her while I stand by and get to experience it all for the first time through the eyes of my child. Kissing boo boos and first days of Kindergarten. Molding, shaping, and guiding this young person as he/she forms his/her morals and ideas. Waiting with baited breath as/he she finds firm footing in her/his place in the world. There was a time when all I could think about was doing this. Again. Again. And then one more time for good measure.

I feel like infertility has robbed of this ability to dream.Getting pregnant sometimes just feels like a means to an end. I swallow pills, inject myself with needles, insert suppositories into my vagina, and so much more all in the name of creating life. Yet, somehow I stopped being able to see past creation and into life itself. I sincerely hope that once I see those fateful double pink lines that my vision will improve, expand. That my hopes and dreams can pick right back up where I left them before I entered this battle.

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Speaking of double pink lines…..it’s time for a little symptom spotting at 7DPO

Mostly, I’m not feeling too much but if I really pay attention this is what I find:

-I am so tired! This could be as a result of the endless dreaming that was my sleep last night….

-My breasts are full and heavy, but that isn’t totally abnormal at this time of the month

-My nipples are super pink, one seems to look larger, and they are constantly at um,….attention πŸ™‚

-My abdomen feels full. I guess that’s the right word for it. I keep feeling little pokes and jabs and sometime tiny cramps but that could just be gas for all I know. Each time I use the bathroom I hope to find implantation bleeding in my underwear.

-I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat. In fact, I am sort of waiting for someone to say something to make me cry ( I don’t think it would take much) because I feel like crying is exactly what I need right now.

These could all be normal and I could be overreacting. These could all be side effects of the progesterone. But I am choosing to regard them as early pregnancy symptoms. My husband and I feel really good about thisΒ  month, so we have decided to live and speak as if we are pregnant. We’re employing the Law of Attraction. It certainly can’t hurt and the best part is that I truly believe that I am pregnant!

 

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11 Responses to “April 30-Day Challenge Day #12 and a Little Symptom Spotting”

  1. laughingpromises April 12, 2012 at 8:17 pm #

    Eeeep! So excited for you! I am praying that this is the month for you and your husband! And that once you get those two pink lines, you’ll be able to dream again. πŸ™‚

    • Jenn April 12, 2012 at 8:35 pm #

      Thank you so so much! It means the world to have so many people rooting for us.

      Sent from my iPhone

  2. K.Smitty April 12, 2012 at 7:00 pm #

    EVERYTHING crossed!
    xo!

  3. amy April 12, 2012 at 3:19 pm #

    I’m feeling very good for you…that’s some awesome positive thinking my friend…I love it!! I’m in a horrible habit of saying “IF I EVER have kids”….I’m always corrected by the more positive peeps in my life. Keep up that good attitude…can’t wait to hear the good news πŸ™‚

    • Jenn April 12, 2012 at 3:31 pm #

      Thanks lady! There will be good news for sure! I am basically willing this to happen πŸ™‚ I hope all is well with you. xoxo

  4. storkchaser April 12, 2012 at 2:53 pm #

    I can totally relate. This post actually brought up those same feelings, but since my dumb A decided to do it at work, I focused on the dream. It’s sad that now I always say “IF I ever get pregnant,” or “IF we ever have kids” instead of the “whens.” That is like the saddest thing ever! And I have to be careful not to say it around non-IFers because then I have to hear about how I should be thinking “positively” and all that. But right now, I’m focusing on the dream and I kind of like it. πŸ™‚

    As for your symptom-spotting…EEEEK! Sounds good so far. πŸ™‚ I had all of those on my 3rd round of Clomid and it ended up not being pregnancy, but EVERYONE else that has had all of those symptoms were pregnant! I hope that’s the case for you!!!

    • Jenn April 12, 2012 at 3:30 pm #

      Oh it will be the case for us! I figure negative thinking hasn’t gotten me anywhere, so maybe my upbeat attitude will help? I read once that people who consider themselves to be lucky end up being more lucky in the long wrong because they have faith. It’s really about expecting good things to happen so that you notice them when they do. I am willing myself to be pregnant this month πŸ™‚

      • storkchaser April 12, 2012 at 5:11 pm #

        I love that!!! Yes, it will be the case for you!!!

  5. robin April 12, 2012 at 2:20 pm #

    I also sometimes forget that at the end of this I have kids, and they don’t stay babies for very long. I actually don’t LOVE babies, I much prefer kids and teens (although maybe that will change when they’re MY teens haha).

    I like the sound of your symptom list! Some of it you can attribute to progesterone but I had the fullness in my uterus, too. I felt like I was storing nuts for winter in there. Eeeee!!! When do you test??

    • Jenn April 12, 2012 at 2:31 pm #

      That is the perfect way to describe it…storing nuts for winter! I love it! 12 DPO would be next Tuesday, but I will probably wait until Thursday or Friday so that I can have the weekend to let it soak in. It feels so close!

    • Jenn April 12, 2012 at 3:10 pm #

      Did you have implantation bleeding? I can’t get a clear answer on how common it is.

      On Thu, Apr 12, 2012 at 2:31 PM, Jenn Ford wrote:

      > That is the perfect way to describe it…storing nuts for winter! I love > it! 12 DPO would be next Tuesday, but I will probably wait until Thursday > or Friday so that I can have the weekend to let it soak in. It feels so > close! > >

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