“Don’t Ignore”

24 Apr

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week, as most of you know by now.

What a perfect week for me to acknowledge Infertility. For me, this week is bookmarked with a negative pregnancy test on one end and my 29th birthday on the other end.

This year RESOLVE is launching a public education campaign to spread awareness of Infertility and the things that shouldn’t be ignored. And there are so many things.

So, in honor of the looming anniversary of my birth, I would like to aim to not ignore the happy times in our lives.

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved my birthday. I begin the countdown weeks (if not, months) in advance. I am fascinated with the idea that just this one day a year is all about me. It’s a celebration of my life. It’s a day for my friends and family to acknowledge the important role that I play in their lives. This obsession goes both ways because I love other people’s birthdays too. I’m that girl. The one that will always remember your birthday. The one who will always take the time on that day to share just how much you mean to me. Certainly, I could proclaim my love on any ordinary day, but a birthday is a mile marker. A time for reflection and remembrance of where you have come from and anticipation for where you intend to go. Life is a feat that deserves to be celebrated, so celebrate I do.

However, this year feels different. 29 reminds me of all the things I have yet to accomplish. The biggest one of all: having a baby. This will be the second birthday that comes and goes without the joy of pregnancy. The second birthday that comes and goes without a little person to share it with. A couple of weeks ago, when I was absolutely sure that I was pregnant, my husband planned a birthday party for me. We invited all of our closest friends and the ones that have children are planning on bringing them along. But now, with the negative pregnancy test behind me, I no longer feel like celebrating. The irony that I am celebrating my own life while mourning the absence of another seems a little too overwhelming for me. I want to cancel the party, wear sweatpants all day, and drown my sadness at the bottom of an expensive bottle of red wine. I told my husband not to get me a birthday present because I would rather put that money into our [in]fertility fund. I simply want to skip over this day, pretend like it isn’t happening.

But life goes on, right? I cannot allow my infertility to rob me of yet another thing that I take so much pleasure in. Celebrating my birthday has always been my thing. Celebrating life and the people that make is so wonderful has always been my thing. I’d be doing myself a great disservice by removing myself from that list. Perhaps I could even go so far as to say that for once, I should put myself at the top of that list.

We shouldn’t let infertility keep us from ignoring the things in life that day make us happy. And birthdays are one of those things. Sure, my life may feel incomplete but that doesn’t make it inconsequential.

Happy 29th Birthday to me. I won’t cancel the party, but I still want that expensive bottle off red wine.

 

*For a basic understanding of the disease of infertility, please click here.

**To learn more about National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), please click here.

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11 Responses to ““Don’t Ignore””

  1. storkchaser April 25, 2012 at 9:23 am #

    Jenn- happy early birthday! I completely felt the same way this year. I just turned 31 and got period the day before my Mimosa brunch. It was awful and painful but I went to celebrate and wow. I felt so loved. My bday is a week before Christmas and rarely people can make any if my celebrations, but about 10 couples came and half were Hubster’s friends! I then proceeded to drink 7 Mimosas and had a fabulous day. Enjoy your celebration and bask in the love surrounding you! Xoxo

    • Jenn April 25, 2012 at 10:14 am #

      Thanks lady! I’m sure that’s the way it will be for me….at least after a few drinks 🙂 The one bonus to not being pregnant.

  2. Ess April 24, 2012 at 7:31 pm #

    Happy almost Birthday Jenn! I turned 29 in October and remember feeling the exact same way. I’m sure when the day comes you’ll be feeling up to it… plus the new outfit is a definite feel good. : )

    • Jenn April 24, 2012 at 8:15 pm #

      So glad you understand! Thanks for the kind words 🙂

      Sent from my iPhone

  3. TheStorkWhisperer April 24, 2012 at 6:00 pm #

    I hope you have a wonderful birthday you can enjoy!

    • Jenn April 24, 2012 at 6:54 pm #

      Thanks lady!

      Sent from my iPhone

  4. K.Smitty April 24, 2012 at 5:29 pm #

    I have hated my birthday for years because I can’t stand being the center of attention….LOL. But I really hope that, once all your friends show up, you end up having a great time. You definitely deserve it! And in my opinion, you also deserve a new outfit to wear to said party to make you feel as fabulous as we all think you are…or at least I do! 🙂

    • Jenn April 24, 2012 at 5:36 pm #

      Ha! I kind of forgot to mention that I bought a new outfit this past weekend and told my husband we could just consider that my birthday present even though I would have bought it anyway. But thanks for thinking that I’m fabulous! Right back at ya lady 🙂

  5. 35life April 24, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

    Aww. Please try to have a nice birthday. Get that red wine! And have a glass for me while you’re at it. 🙂 35 was my turning point and year of reflection, btw. I guess hence my blog title. Work out the funk at #29 and I bet #30 will be a breeze! 😉

    • Jenn April 24, 2012 at 4:41 pm #

      One can certainly hope 🙂 Thanks so much!!!

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