Is There Something in the [Cyber] Water?

10 May

A heartfelt congratulations to each and every one of you lovely ladies who finally got your BFP this month!! I am shocked at the numbers. I have had to move so many of you from my “TTC” folder to my “pregnant” folder. It put a smile on my face to be able to do that. I know the the intensity of the battle that you have just won and you deserve nothing but to bask in the miracles that are you pregnancies.

Now I am sure you know what’s coming next…I’m also a little jealous, but even more than jealous I am afraid that I am losing such a valuable support system. When my internet friends are all pregnant/moms just like all of my real world friends, where am I supposed to turn? I already anticipating feeling alone in my own little infertile bubble. I know how don’t have to apologize for my mixed emotions because you have all been there, but I want to stress that I am truly happy for you.

I guess I’m just in a funk with Mother’s Day coming up this weekend. This will be my first as an infertile and I’m not so sure that I am up to facing the day. If I didn’t have such a wonderful Mom who deserves to be celebrated then I would probably lay on the couch in my pjs and watch sad movies all day. Is it strange that I still want to be recognized on Mother’s Day? I don’t know how, but I want to be acknowledged for how hard I am trying to join that club.

I’m already a mother. The only thing missing is my baby and I think I deserve to be acknowledged. Fat chance, huh?


13 Responses to “Is There Something in the [Cyber] Water?”

  1. amy May 14, 2012 at 2:07 pm #

    I hear ya…as of this week it’s only me and you on my blogroll 😦 I am so over the moon for my cyber friends without a doubt…but I would have to really spend some time and get back out in the blogging world to find some IF/TTC friends again. I don’t have the energy though. I have zero desire to blog anymore (obviously), since I haven’t blogged since January or something. Keep up that good attitude, that hope and that baby plan…it’s going to happen SOON my friend 🙂

  2. TheStorkWhisperer May 11, 2012 at 8:10 pm #

    It has been a good month for a lot of people. I am happy for them, but still wonder if I will be left behind forever.

  3. Sunny May 11, 2012 at 10:31 am #

    I completely “get” where you’re coming from, girl. I haven’t been blogging that long, but I have noticed that this month in particular was HUGE for BFPs. I started to worry, like you, that I was suddenly going to loose a lot of support, or that my blog is suddenly going to come off as whiney and pathetic. In trying to sort out my emotions on this, I don’t think it’s quite the same as an angry jealousy for BFPs…it’s more like a fear of being left behind, or a sadness that I’m not “one of the crowd”. We will power through!!

    • Jenn May 11, 2012 at 10:39 am #

      We will power through!! It’s all one big cycle anyway. Soon enough we’ll be those girls with the blogs and the BFPs and someone else will be reading about us feeling jealous and left out. I think this just helps to remind me not to forget where I can came from. Glad I’m not alone in my sentiments!

  4. veetamia May 11, 2012 at 1:32 am #

    You do deserve to be congratulated! I feel just like you, already a mom and waiting for our baby to fill the space. And I think its normal what you are saying….I also feel a little jealous, really happy for all the new pregnancies, but sad that I am not able to be there still. I truly believe we will get there, our time is coming!

    • Jenn May 11, 2012 at 10:30 am #

      Glad you understand. Just another reason why I love this community so much!

  5. robin May 10, 2012 at 9:31 pm #

    There are waves of BFPs and then huge waves of BFNs and losses. It’s like the tide. There are months when it seems like everyone is getting a BFP, and then over the next two months it’s dry, with only BFNs and chemicals 😦 I have no idea what happens, why it’s like this with the waves. I remember watching the waves before my BFP and it really did seem like everyone was getting pregnant besides me. I usually spent the next ICLW stocking up on lots more non-prego blog ladies then, ha!

    I also have the two categories of blogs. It was really helpful, especially during those waves, and when I would get my BFNs I would not want to read any of those pregnant blogs. Even the people who were newly pregnant and flipping out, I just didn’t want to read it, so I kind of dropped out of the support net for them for a while (it’s ok, the other pregnant bloggers stepped up, so never feel guilty for dropping out for a while to take care of your own sanity).

    • Jenn May 11, 2012 at 10:33 am #

      It means so much to me that your responded 🙂 And that you weren’t offended….I may hide out for a little while, but I’m sure I’ll be back to reading and commenting soon because in my heart I really am so so so happy for each and every one of your pregos!

      • robin May 11, 2012 at 12:27 pm #

        Ah! How could I be offended? We’ve all been there, that’s part of the sad reality of being in this community. We’ve all watched people get pregnant around us. I think almost every pregnant lady blogger struggles with figuring out how to keep her readers after getting pregnant – it’s the other side of the coin, but it’s the same type of experience. You do what you need to do for your emotional stability!

  6. futuresoccermom May 10, 2012 at 7:00 pm #

    Yes, yes, yes. Couldn’t agree more. Everyone is getting pregnant it seems and i feel the same way about my blog…I’m whiny and depressed and seemingly everyone else is in a different place mentally. It’s a lonely place to be. And while I’m not glad that you or I aren’t pregnant, I am glad to know I am not the only one who feels this way.

    • Jenn May 11, 2012 at 10:34 am #

      I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels this way too. I was worried about giving voice to that jealousy but when people (like you) respond that they feel the same way it definitely helps me feel better. Thank you 🙂

  7. babylopez8410 May 10, 2012 at 5:57 pm #

    I really hope there is something in the cyber water. I need whatever they’re having! Its crazy how many pregnancies have been announced and Im actually happy for them. Ok and a little jealous but more happy then anything.

    Not really looking forward to Mother’s Day either. I go to my parents house and my grandma lives with them so other family members make their way over throughout the day and I have to sit as everyone else gets a Happy Mother’s Day hug, card or flowers. I feel so left out and cringe as I hear those words all day.

    Sending you a big virtual hug and wishing you a a Happy Morher’s Day!!!

    • Jenn May 11, 2012 at 10:36 am #

      All the women in my family get together for the whole day. They are all just waiting for me to announce I am pregnant so I feel like I am letting them down every time I see them. But it’s just another right? 24 hours. I just have to keep that in mind. Happy Mother’s Day to you and your wife!

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