13 Jun

In my head.

In my heart.

On my pregnancy test.


42 Responses to “Negativity”

  1. jell jell @ I'll Sleep When They're Grown June 17, 2012 at 5:19 pm #

    Sweet girl.

  2. Sunny June 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm #

    Double damn damnnit!!! I believe a prescription of a large glass of wine and any junk food you need is in order right now. I’m so so sorry to hear this news 😦 Wish I could say something that would make it all better.

    • Jenn June 14, 2012 at 4:11 pm #

      The double damn damnit certainly helped a little 🙂

      Sent from my iPhone

  3. amy June 14, 2012 at 10:04 am #

    In reply to your reply: I had like zero symptoms for Endo, but once I did the Lap they discovered I had it everywhere! A lot of people have no symptoms…but if you have it, it can really hinder your chances of getting pregnant! My doc said if women get it, they usually get it in their late 20’s, early 30’s. Please keep me posted on your Lap…they aren’t that bad at all 🙂

    • Jenn June 14, 2012 at 12:32 pm #

      At this point I am hoping that I have it just so that I have some kind of answer. I will definitely be coming to you before the surgery to get the low down!

  4. Christina @ According To C June 14, 2012 at 8:45 am #

    Oh no, I’m so sorry! Fingers and toes are still crossed for you!

    • Jenn June 14, 2012 at 12:32 pm #

      Thanks lady 🙂

  5. queenelizabethi June 14, 2012 at 8:43 am #

    😦 So sorry. We’re in the same boat.

    • Jenn June 14, 2012 at 12:31 pm #

      A boat that is surely sinking…sorry to you too 😦

  6. TheStorkWhisperer June 13, 2012 at 8:29 pm #

    So sorry! I can honestly say I know how it feels. Who knows why these IUI’s don’t work when everything seems to be going in the right direction? I hope you get the answers you need soon.

    • Jenn June 14, 2012 at 12:31 pm #

      Stupid science! You’d think we would know how to make babies by now with 100% certainty.

  7. K.Smitty June 13, 2012 at 5:54 pm #


    (this was my actual reaction when I read this.)
    ***Virtual hugs!***

    Stupid psychics. They don’t know smack. Well, I’m hopeful that AF comes for you soon so that you’re at least not being drug along on that ride. But I know you’ll get there soon, I can just feel it!

    • Jenn June 14, 2012 at 12:30 pm #

      Stupid pyschics indeed! Guess I learned my lesson….still no AF but I am really hoping she comes tomorrow. I’m ready to get on with CD 1 already!

  8. myjourneythruinfertility June 13, 2012 at 5:21 pm #

    I’m so sorry. I know that no words of mine could ever take away the pain, but just wanted you to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I promise. Hugs from here.

    • Jenn June 14, 2012 at 12:29 pm #

      Thanks, that really means so much to me! I feel the hugs 🙂

  9. veetamia June 13, 2012 at 5:11 pm #

    I am sorry! Sending you hugs and I agree with the others, make sure to do something nice for yourself and keep going on 🙂

    • Jenn June 14, 2012 at 12:28 pm #

      Thanks lady!

  10. Don't call me Brenda June 13, 2012 at 12:56 pm #

    Fraaaaack. xo x infinity. D

    • Jenn June 13, 2012 at 4:10 pm #

      I’m feeling the love. Thanks D!

  11. 35life June 13, 2012 at 12:27 pm #

    So sorry. Putting the next step in mind usually helps me too. I gave up on the IUI’s myself but you never know. We only did 2, maybe if we kept with them, they’d eventually work. Law of averages? Hang in there and enjoy some wine. I know that’s my plan for this evening.

    • Jenn June 13, 2012 at 4:09 pm #

      I wish I could….unfortunately even though the test was negative, I still haven’t started my period. I might be a fool, but I’m still kind of secretly holding on to that .00000009% chance.

      • Meela June 13, 2012 at 4:40 pm #

        I’m sorry about your negative on the test Jenn. And I totally get the holding out hope bit. I was secretly still like that even after I got my period last time. It’s hard. Big hugs and good luck with the investigations.

        • Jenn June 13, 2012 at 5:01 pm #

          Glad I’m not the only one. Thanks lady, means a lot!

  12. amy June 13, 2012 at 11:37 am #

    I wasn’t done, but this comment box wasn’t acting screwy! Anywho, we don’t have a bonafide plan in place by any means, and our family may not lend us the money, but we have to try at least.

    I’m so sorry for you today Jenn and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers…always!!


    • Jenn June 13, 2012 at 4:07 pm #

      Thank you Amy. I’m so glad to hear that you guys are forming a plan! IVF just has to work for you and I really hope you BIL lends you the money. That’s what family is for, right? I’m always thinking about you 🙂

      I just don’t know if I’m ready in my heart to go for IVF. I have barely wrapped my head around the IUI process as it is. I still need some time to process these things. Despite having no symptoms of endo, I have decided to get checked out. I ‘ll be getting my laparascopy sometime within the next two or three weeks, I think. I’ll fill you in as I get more details. But for now, that’s the plan.

      This WILL happen for us one day. We won’t give up until it does. We are so much stronger then we ever knew!


      • Mamma V. June 14, 2012 at 4:16 pm #

        Jenn I was scared of IVF too and I wasn’t considering it because I thought we didn’t have fertility issues. But IUIs were just not working for me so I did my forst IVF in march april and it wasn’t that bad, the bloating from the medications is more or less the same as during IUI, the egg retrival is ok, you won’t feel anything on the day, you’ll be feeling tender the following 2 to 3 days ( I had mild OHSS and it wasn’t great but still it was bearable ) and then I suppose the transfer is the same as IUI.
        Anyway have a think about it…I know you are still hoping and on that note my wife got pregnant on her 3rd IUI and we got a negative when she POAS…so… maybe….

        • Jenn June 14, 2012 at 4:46 pm #

          Thanks for the info! My husband and I are starting to talk a little more about it. How many dpo was your wife when she got the negative? I’m 14DPO today.

          • Mamma V. June 14, 2012 at 5:37 pm #

            Hi Jenn, she was at 14 dpo like you, at the time my clinic didn’t do beta so we went out partying to forget and then AF didn’t come and after a week the nurse suggested to POAS again. We were in shock! It was super positive!!! Our daughter was obviously a late implanter!

            • Jenn June 14, 2012 at 5:54 pm #

              Hmmmmm, perhaps I should skip out on the mojitos I planned for tonight? That would be the most amazing thing that could ever happen!

  13. amy June 13, 2012 at 11:36 am #

    Oh no 😦 Jenn, I’m so sorry….it’s so hard, I know. And it’s confusing, and frustrating, ugghh. There might be another underlying issue maybe? I did 3 IUI’s before I figured out my Endo, then did a 4th IUI and it didn’t work….I refused to do any more. Endo might be something you want to check in to? I dunno.

    You’ve asked me several times what my next plan is, and I just don’t want to talk about myself on your blog…but I’ll give you a quick recap since we’re talking about IVF on here. For the past year we haven’t done anything, which has been nice. But now, since my 34th birthday just passed, we needed a plan. So, I went ahead and scheduled an IVF consultation. This place does “mini” IVF’s…which is basically half the cost, half the eggs produced but about half the chance of getting pregnant. I’m going to see if he thinks I’m a good candidate, b/c as far as we know, I have no ovulation problems. Anyways, we are looking maybe to do it in the fall. But, my point is, it IS expensive and that is SO stressful esp if it didn’t work. But we feel like it’s our only hope at this point, and we are going to ask my brother-in-law if we can borrow the money! Better than a loan with a ridiculous rate. So, if you consider IVF, hopefully you will figure out a way to make it work sweetie 🙂

  14. Mina @ Fertility Doll June 13, 2012 at 10:38 am #

    Oh no big hug 😦

    • Jenn June 13, 2012 at 3:57 pm #

      Thanks lady 😦

  15. robin June 13, 2012 at 10:11 am #

    😦 😦 Don’t forget to do something nice for yourself, even (especially) if you are angry/sad at your body. *HUGS*

    • Jenn June 13, 2012 at 10:27 am #

      Can’t I just drink lots of wine to punish my body even further? Haha, joking….sort of.

  16. Jessica June 13, 2012 at 9:48 am #

    I’m sorry, Jenn! =(

    • Jenn June 13, 2012 at 10:27 am #

      Thanks lady.

  17. Mamma V. June 13, 2012 at 9:43 am #

    I’m sorry, i hate IUIs, I find it easier if I think about the next step, have you consider IVF?

    • Roxxroxx June 13, 2012 at 9:50 am #

      I’m really sorry jenn. I agree with mamma v. IUI sucks. My doc even told me so. I didn’t listen because I knew two women who’d had IUI and become PG first time. Consider IVF if you can. It’s a different kettle of fish. Lots of love and hugs 🙂

      • Jenn June 13, 2012 at 10:31 am #

        Momma V. and Roxx–I have certainly considered IVF but my insurance doesn’t cover a dime of it and we don’t have that much money in our baby making fund. Maybe one day. I feel like an IUI should work just fine unless there is another problem. I want so bad just to know why and then perhaps we could fix it. I don’t know. Probably just wishful thinking. I should probably start saving for IVF now.

        • Mamma V. June 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm #

          If you check around IUIs are not very succesful, even when there are no fertility issues, I read about lesbians doing 6 or 7 IUIs and then get pregnant through IVF. I think you should consider saving for it. We are paying for everything as well and I really hope it will be worth it at the end bacause it is so bloody expansive!
          I have to keep reminding myself about the success rate and hope for the best.

          Enjoy your wine tonight and start over tomorrow. A big hug…

          • Jenn June 13, 2012 at 4:11 pm #

            Hmmm, I didn’t realize that. I thought it gave me basically the same chance of getting pregnant as a fertile woman since there are no known underlying issues. Guess I need to do some more research.

            • Roxxroxx June 13, 2012 at 8:09 pm #

              They are about as effective as normal sex. That rate is unbelievably low, seeing as babies seem to have been made left right and centre since the beginning of time – only about 15% at ovulation window. It definitely makes sense for you to have the laparoscopy if you are continuing w IUI. We have really struggled with paying the IVF bill but it should finally be settled next month. It has been a stressful experience, but an effective one. We had never considered it burnt we found the huge unknowns with IUI to be unbearable. Thinking of you. You are not alone. Xox

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