October 21: Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

21 Oct

Yeah, you should just ignore the ridiculous referral to bad 90’s R&B that I alluded to in my title. Clearly I am getting lame in my old age.

October 21: Are you satisfied with your sex life? Would you like more, less, or is it just right?

Ah, such a loaded, complicated question with an equally complicated answer. If I wanted to make it short and sweet then I would just answer no and more. However, we know that I never stop at short and sweet.

I remember days past when I was super satisfied with my sex life. Those were the days when we were actively trying to prevent pregnancy and the early days of TTC when it was fun, romantic, and wistful. Unfortunately, those days have long since past. Now the dirtiest talk you’ll hear in my bedroom involves words like fertile window, ovulation, Preseed, and cervical mucus. Sad, but true.

Personally my favorite form of sex these days is when my RE is also in the room inserting a catheter into my uterus and inseminating me on my husband’s behalf with washed sperm that was extracted from his testicles while I sat in the waiting room and he looked at lesbian porn from the early 2000’s. Sense the sarcasm?

Don’t get me wrong, certainly there are days throughout the month where it’s great. But seeing as I live my life in cycles (most of which are medicated), nary a day passes where I’m not caught up in something having to do with my fertility.

Week 1: Clomid. I’m a raging bitch anyway so he’s most likely just trying to get it on in an effort to either shut me up or distract me from crying. Or I have a headache (a real one!) and the last thing I can imagine doing is moving my body and jostling my brain around.

Week 2: Probably the safest week of the month. But at the end it starts creeping upon the “fertile window” and sometimes there is this manufactured excuse that we might as well save our energy for when we’re really going to need it.

Week 3: Timed Intercourse. Homework. Enough said.

Week 4: Progesterone vaginal suppositories. And, well, that’s just gross. I can’t be held responsible for the state of my vagina during this week. Besides, once it’s in there ain’t nothing else joining it.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Be sure to check out these lovely ladies who are also participating in the October Writing Prompts (and it’s never too late if you want to join in as well!)

Arwen Rose @ MRKH Musings

EmHart @ Follow Every Rainbow

futuresoccermom @ Pregnancy 101

Kathryn @ Kathryn Finding Fertility

Rainbow Catcher @ Catching Our Rainbow

StorkChaser @ Dog Mom Chasing the Stork

Jenny @ Sprout

Amanda @ Reading Each Page

Jennifer @ Waiting For Baby

JB @ Bickerstaff Blog

How We Are Learning To Be Parents

KelBel @ Tales From Our Yellow Brick Road

Stupid Stork @ Stupid Stork

Sunny @ Cease and Decyst

BethanyKenyon @ A Work In Progress

Seagull @ In This Mad Season

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3 Responses to “October 21: Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby”

  1. EmHart October 22, 2012 at 5:54 am #

    Nail hit on the head. Sing it sister.

    • Jenn October 22, 2012 at 4:44 pm #

      I love you both so much…only two with the balls to comment on such a depressing post!

  2. Stupid Stork October 21, 2012 at 4:14 pm #

    C’mon now. You know catheters always make a girl feel sexxxxxaay.

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