How I Made Friends With The Rude Girl In The Waiting Room and other Updates

5 Dec

I know that I have been MIA, but I have been so drained emotionally on so many fronts that I haven’t felt the desire to write. Probably because that would mean having to rehash everything when I would much prefer to just turn my brain off. Besides, what I am even supposed to write about? I’m still bleeding. I’m still in pain. My ectopic is still on it’s way to working itself out. I’m an effing broken record these days.

Anyway…where was I? Oh yes, my new rude friend.

This morning I had to go in for blood work and an ultrasound. The lab is on the first floor and opens at 7. My RE’s ultrasound clinic is on a first come, first serve basis and opens at 7:15. The goal for both offices is to get there early and be the first one on both lists. I’ve mastered this technique: I get to the lab at 6:45 and wait patiently outside until it opens at 7 and be out of the lab by 7:05. Run up the three flights of stairs and be the first one on the sign up sheet for the u/s. I get called first at 7:15 and I’m out of there by 7:30. Works like a charm.

Today went according to plan. I was the first one in line at the lab. Then a man joined me as second in line. Then another woman came up third. However, she walked right into the lab ahead of me and signed her name first on the sign-in sheet. Before I could say “how rude” a la Stephanie Tanner, she started telling me all about how she tried to get upstairs to put her name on the u/s list so she could be first, but the door was still locked so she came down here and needs to hurry up and get back upstairs. She was a newbie, this was her first time. She was a teacher and I don’t have to be at work until 10am. So, I decided not to make a big deal out of her cutting in line.

She immediately started asking me a million questions about femara, PCOS, trigger shots, u/s, timed intercourse, you name it. But that wasn’t the strange part. It was the fact that I actually knew the answers to her questions. And I don’t even have PCOS! Which, by the way, she kept calling PCO–just goes to show how new she is to this game. It made me long for the days of being a naive fertile, blindly hoping that my first medicated cycle would be the one that got me my take home baby. I hope I didn’t burst her bubble when I told her that I’m a two year veteran of Infertility Land.

Obviously, she got her blood drawn before me and beat me upstairs to the u/s clinic to be first in line. Much to my amazement, she signed my name in for me right below hers so that I was second in line. It really was the least she could do after messing up my whole game plan. It reminded me of that episode of Friends where that couple keeps getting ahead of Monica and Chandler in line to their honeymoon and so they keep getting all the upgrades. Finally, Chandler yells at the couple, “We’re you, just two minutes later!” Except in the case, I know way more than this girl and I can’t figure out if that puts me in a better or worse position.

 

In other news, it’s been exactly two weeks since my last dose of methotrexate. You know what this means…..I can drink alcohol again and pop a painkiller stronger than Tylenol. Lest you get too excited for me, this loosely translates to two glasses of red wine and an ibuprofen. But I will take what I can get at this point.

Beta dropped by 50% according to this morning’s blood draw. 584. Progress, alas. The pregnancy is no longer visible by ultrasound. I’m hoping this pattern continues and next Wednesday my beta will back at zero.

Another reason that I have been avoiding you all is because I have some news that I have been hesitant to share. More like, I have no idea how to even share it. It’s some heavy stuff. But, I assure you that I am working on that post and will hopefully have it up by this weekend.

Thanks for not giving up on me.

Love. Love. Love.

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30 Responses to “How I Made Friends With The Rude Girl In The Waiting Room and other Updates”

  1. No Baby Ruth December 12, 2012 at 6:39 am #

    Oh, yes, that wish to be the “ignorant” one. I wish none of us knew any of this.

    Your clinic is complicated. And that girl is strange. But I’m glad she put your name down. πŸ˜‰

  2. cgd December 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm #

    Just saw your comment on my blog- so glad you found me, although not glad for all going on in your life. I am eager to follow along and support you in any way that I can. My email is cgd.adventures@yahoo.com
    much love to you
    xoxoxo

  3. Roxxroxx December 9, 2012 at 3:24 am #

    Ah Jenn, hope you are feeling a little better. I hope you have had your drink of yummy red wine and been keeping yourself nice and busy. It is nice to help others through your experiences πŸ™‚

  4. Sunny December 7, 2012 at 10:18 am #

    Love you love you love you girl. Wish I could be there to give you a big hug. Keep us updated.

  5. LisaB December 7, 2012 at 8:49 am #

    I’m pretty new here (from Stork’s blog), but I wanted to let you know I’ve been thinking of you. I hope things keep moving in the right direction. I’m so sorry you gotta be in the mess though. *hugs* What an interesting story! I bet that girl is thinking “wow” about you. I’m sure she appreciates the information you gave her. It’s awesome to be able to help people, even if it’s just a little. You know, sometimes it’s lonely out there in real life.
    ❀

    • LisaB December 7, 2012 at 8:50 am #

      Oops, I mean I’m sorry you gotta be in *this mess.

  6. robin December 7, 2012 at 3:37 am #

    ❀ ❀ ❀

  7. Arwen Rose December 6, 2012 at 4:33 pm #

    Thinking of you lots dear. You are a brave and wonderfully strong woman. We are all here for when ever you need us. X

  8. YeahScience! December 6, 2012 at 11:06 am #

    Hahaha, I totally forgot about that line from Friends — so funny! And so accurate, somehow. So wait, were you seriously not allowed to pop Ibuprofen while the methotrexate was taking effect??! That was the ONLY thing that saved me and prevented another trip to the ER because I thought my tube had ruptured and I was dying — I decided to say “fuck it” to the warning labels and shovelled 5 extra-strength Advil in my gob, and then miraculously the pain disappeared after 20 minutes.

    Anyway, hang in there… as my RE said, most women who suffer an ectopic go on to have a normal, healthy pregnancy soon afterward. And the good thing is that you know your eggs can be fertilized by your hubby’s sperm, so that’s not an issue.

    All about silver linings at this point, I guess.

  9. Amanda December 6, 2012 at 11:06 am #

    I’ve been thinking of you! I hope that next Wednesday holds positive news for you. But now, I’m anxiously waiting for your weekend post. ((hugs))

  10. alloallo December 6, 2012 at 10:11 am #

    thinking of you. and wishing you joy in the glasses of pinot in the meantime, and bigger joys later.

  11. Aspgriswold December 5, 2012 at 9:18 pm #

    Sending many thoughts your way. I am still so sorry for your loss. Even though I think she was so rude I’m glad that you were able to be a support for her today!!

  12. Theresa December 5, 2012 at 9:03 pm #

    I’ve gotten a few reminders of our time spent when talking to either people just starting or people who haven’t started yet, and their eyes start to glaze when I mention things like OPK and charting.
    Been thinking of you….definitely enjoy some wine.

  13. storkchaser December 5, 2012 at 8:31 pm #

    Uuuugh, friend, ugh. I know the feeling of not wanting to dwell on the bad feelings and even though it hurts to wish for the end of your pregnancy, the longer you have to wait, the more it sucks.

    I’m a little anxious for your news and hope everything is ok-ish. Been thinking about you a lot while you’ve been away!! Xoxo

  14. Kristin December 5, 2012 at 7:52 pm #

    New infertile friends are fun! Perhaps she also likes red wine and is a bit less pushy when not rushed. Drop, beta, drop!!

  15. Jennifer December 5, 2012 at 7:41 pm #

    You are way more patient than I would have been! My RE’s office seems to have some sort of unwritten rule that NOBODY talks. It’s library quiet in there every day. Intrigued as to what your news is…

  16. Kelly December 5, 2012 at 5:39 pm #

    I’ve been thinking of you, lady! I’m sorry I haven’t commented in a while. I just haven’t had the words. But please know you’ve been very close to my heart. I hope everything turns out well for you….soon….and that this big news you’re holding is something that brings you peace and not more heartache. XO

  17. slese1014 December 5, 2012 at 4:40 pm #

    Yeah, that’s a hard place to be in…you know waay more, you’re waaay more experienced, but is that really a good thing? I mean if you were a nurse who worked in an RE’s office, then yeah that’s great that you know so much, but you’re not…and it’s just weird. Rude girl seems so innocent and naive. I wish her the best…

    As for you…staying by you no matter what. Hoping things get back to normal sooner rather than later for you. Finding things to write about while experiencing what you are without reliving it is hard…we get it.. we understand. We miss you though… we’re here thinking of you!

    And whatever it is you have to share, we’re here for you for that too…take care of you…that’s what’s most important right now!

    Thinking of you!

  18. Seagull December 5, 2012 at 4:26 pm #

    keep hanging in there. You are being so strong and brave!

    • Jenn December 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm #

      πŸ™‚ I’m certainly trying.

  19. futuresoccermom December 5, 2012 at 4:02 pm #

    I am thinking of you. I play that same game myself as mine is first come first serve as well. I get there at 6:30! If anyone cut me I’d lose my shit, so more power to you!

    • Jenn December 5, 2012 at 4:12 pm #

      I was also bargaining with the Gods of karma and betas that maybe if I was extra nice then they would be kind to me today πŸ™‚

  20. steph50 December 5, 2012 at 2:27 pm #

    I’m glad to hear from you and that the ectopic is resolving! You’re in my thoughts! xox

    • Jenn December 5, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

      Thank ya kindly πŸ™‚

  21. RainbowCatcher December 5, 2012 at 2:23 pm #

    I will never give up on you, love! I’ve been thinking about you a lot, and I’m very glad to hear from you again. I’m sorry this has happened to you because it just sucks so much–I was cheering super hard for you.

    As for your new friend–that is a strange situation. I find that I know WAY more about IF drugs, procedures, and treatments than the average Joe, and I’ve never even seen an RE. It always catches me off guard when I’m talking to someone and refer to “one of my friends going through IVF” (read: bloggy friend), and they don’t even know what IVF is. What’s really disheartening is when I talk to a pregnant friend and know WAY more than she does about pregnancy and what she should be doing.

    I hope you finally get that zero next week. Please, please let me know if you need anything, and don’t be afraid to call or text if you need someone to talk to!

    • Jenn December 5, 2012 at 2:28 pm #

      Much appreciated, as always, love! I hope all is well with you πŸ™‚

  22. bethanykenyon December 5, 2012 at 1:56 pm #

    I’ve been thinking of you, and glad to see you back. Glad the beta is dropping. I know it’s such a weird feeling to want your betas to drop but I am glad you can move on once it gets to zero. It is weird having a lot of information. I have friends that call me after they leave their doc or after a they get a blood test and ask if it’s good or normal. I don’t mind it at all, I actually like having all this info. MMMM enjoy all the red wine you want!!!!

    • Jenn December 5, 2012 at 2:08 pm #

      I am feeling better, thanks! My BFF called me once and I had to explain cysts and follicles to her because she was freaked out by what she saw on the u/s. Apparently the tech couldn’t give her info until the actual radiologist saw it so she called me πŸ™‚

  23. Belle December 5, 2012 at 1:40 pm #

    What a strange situation to be in. I have recently found myself as the veteran, too, and it is always an uncomfortable reminder of just how long I’ve been at this. Somtimes it is had to be that person. Other times, though, I feel a sense of purpose. Like, maybe I’ve been dealt this incredibly crappy hand to be of assistance to others in hopes of making their journey a little less, um, crappy. Ya know? As for the beta – progress is good and dear lord so is red wine. I have been thinking about you.

    • Jenn December 5, 2012 at 1:52 pm #

      Very strange indeed. I like to think that maybe I was there to help this woman who was obviously so scared and unsure. Thanks Belle! I’ve been thinking about you and the chicken too. xoxo

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