I hope you all can forgive my absence. I’ve just been at a total loss as to what to write about. This space of mine no longer seems to fit me. Or rather, I don’t seem to fit it anymore. I’m obviously no longer trying to get pregnant. And the title itself, “The Future Fords,” no longer defines my life. Chances are that the only Future Ford that will walk this Earth is yours truly. I am struggling with how to turn this one time infertility blog into a blog that encompasses this whole new person that has been left in its wake.
And what of these friendships that we’ve forged? I mean, you guys know more intimate details of my life than most people care to even imagine. But what do I have to offer you if not tales of woe and misfortune of the fertility challenged?
I could regale you with stories of my separation. I could tell you what I ate for breakfast. I could even share the details of my dating life. But all that seems to pale in comparison to drama was my life TTC. Hell, I don’t even know when my last period started because single, non-procreating women like me have no need for such unpleasant details.
Maybe I will start a new blog. An anonymous blog. A place where I can write freely about my life without fear of judgement from (ex?) husbands, would-be-friends, or nosy neighbors. And while I am busy divulging my secrets in that new corner of the internet, I will let this place sit and collect cobwebs-much like my reproductive organs will be doing. Then one day, I can pick it back up, dust it off, and find you all right where I left you. Only, you’ll all be caught in the bliss of motherhood while I, once again, play catch-up.
I suppose there are worse things than suspending time.
I imagine myself pushing pause, not only here on my blog, but also on the part of me that wants nothing more than to be a mother. And for the next 6 months, 1 year, 5 years–however long it takes–the other underdeveloped parts of me will get a chance to shine.
World traveler Jenn.
Boy crazy Jenn.
Best friend Jenn.
Dessert baking, picture taking, clothes making, risk taking Jenn.
Will you join me on my new adventure?