Where did we last leave off? Is it all beginning to blur together for you too?
As recommended by the endocrinologist that I was seeing, I went back to my regular gynecologist’s office to decide the next course of action. Normally I see a midwife when I go there, but this time I saw a doctor. Midwives can’t do all the invasive procedures that a doctor can so it would have been pointless to go back to my midwife (as much as I love her). As it urns out, the doctor can’t really do anything for me either. She referred me to an infertility doctor should that be the route we decide to take.
I’ve gone over and over this in my head for the past few days. What should we do next?
This new doctor really put some good ideas into my head. She sort of renewed my hope and made me take a step back and consider whether I have gotten a bit ahead of myself. In fact this is the comment that I think has given me perspective and caused me to reconsider my whole outlook…I must warn you that yes, the doctor did use profanity. And yes it was as funny as it sounds. Picture these next words with some kind of an islander accent (not really sure where she’s from. )
She listened to my concerns and then told me, “Probably all off your friends and everyone you know gets pregnant the first time they try and then think that they are so fucking special. Well, they aren’t special. They are just lucky and they should probably shut up about how fucking special they think they are.”
I forget sometimes that one’s chance of getting pregnant even when everything lines up perfectly is still only 20%. I forget that we’ve only actually “tried” to get pregnant for 7 or 8 months. I forget that we have yet to be labeled as infertile.
As the doctor said, I’m a spring chicken (although I wouldn’t altogether agree with that). She poked around a little and determined that everything looks/feels great. My hormone levels are exactly where there should be. And most importantly, the theory is that everyone can get pregnant until proven otherwise.
Her advice to me is relax and not give up hope just yet. Make a consultation appointment with the infertility specialists if that will make feel better, but truly weigh the benefits are running such costly and invasive procedures at this point in time.
So that’s what I am going to do. I have thrown away my BBT thermometer and my ovulation tracking applications. I’m going back old-school…
…for the next 4 months. Until we hit that 12 months of trying mark. Then I’ll make that appointment with the infertility specialist. IF it comes to that. But for today (at the very least) I have a feeling that it won’t.
The Future Fords 
It took me a while to get pregnant too. When I complained to God and asked Him when He would let me have a baby, He sent me the funniest dream. In the dream, I woke up and saw a man standing in the corner of the room. I watched as he walked towards me and became younger at each step until he was a baby at the side of my bed. Then he tried to jump into my belly but I reacted and he popped up back at the corner of the room as a grown man. He started coming towards me again in the same manor and the same thing happened. This happened 3 times and then he successfully got into my belly. When I awoke, I described him to my husband and told him what had happened in the dream. I told him that the man looked like me but had his father’s twinkle in his eye and probably behaved like him. Three months later, I became pregnant and the little boy I had has now grown up to look and act exactly as I saw him in the dream. God was answering my question…how long must I wait…3 months. The whole story is in my book, Growing Up Weird: Confessions of a Closet Medium. Ask God…He may answer you!
Sounds like a really great doctor – keep you spirits up and keep trying! Everything happens for a reason and usually when you least expect it. 🙂
Thanks 🙂
What an awesome doctor! I can actually picture my old GYN saying that, and just like that too. Cheers for perspective 🙂
And you are so very brave to put down your thermometer. I don’t know if I could do that just yet, but I wish you the very best of luck with it!
It actually felt really good to so. I don’t wake up at the same time every morning, so I had to set an alarm for 6am to take my BBT and then go back to bed. It was such a disruption. One I am glad to be free of…for now.